Summary Of General Education Officer/Teacher Requirements:
- Possess a passion for teaching
- Know how to engage students in their learning
- Be a good role model and an inspiration to students
- Able to prepare students for the challenges of life
Application Letter:
Seah Wen Jun
Blk 728 Clementi West Street 2 #02-418
Singapore 120728
6 September 2009
Mdm Peh Tzu Feng
Manager, Recruitment Unit
Recruitment and Placement Branch
Ministry of Education
1 North Buona Vista Drive
Singapore 138675
Dear Mdm Peh,
I am writing to introduce myself as I am interested in joining the Ministry of Education as a General Education Officer. I will be graduating in December 2009 from the National University of Singapore with a Bachelor's Degree in Engineering (Computer Engineering). Hence, I will be able to start work from mid-December 2009 onwards.
Throughout my life I have taught my peers informally, be it in academics or in sports, as sharing my knowledge with others gives me a great sense of satisfaction and purpose. As a result, I find myself passionately drawn towards teaching as a career. Additionally, being able to act as a role model for others and having the opportunity to impart the right values to others is a dream of mine. I can be a good role model as I have proven myself trustworthy, responsible and dependable whilst holding the dual portfolio of Class Treasurer and Volleyball Club Quartermaster when I was in Junior College.
From my stint as Captain for my faculty's pool/billiards team, I have developed and applied leadership, organisational and management skills. These are skills that I trust will help me to lead and engage students on a journey of learning and discovery. Furthermore, while I was serving my National Service in a unit dealing with administrative matters, I was voted as the unit's Best Staff of the Year. Therefore, this proves that I am congenial, affable and in possession of a strong work ethic. With these personality traits, skills and experiences I believe I am well equipped to handle the teaching and administrative duties of a General Education Officer.
I look forward to hearing from you again and I am available for an interview at any time, except on the 2nd of November. In the unfortunate event that there are no vacancies for full time teaching staff, I would be more than happy to take on a part time teaching position. Please feel free to reach me by email (seah.wen.jun@gmail.com) or by mobile (93667276).
Thank you for taking the time to read my application letter.
Yours sincerely,
Seah Wen Jun
Hello Wen Jun,
ReplyDeleteI felt that you have addressed all the requirements of the job advertisment and the format of your application letter is sound. The structure is clear and i can see the thought put into organising the application letter accordingly.
Here are some suggestions from me. I feel that the first line of the 2nd paragraph is a tad lengthy and could be broken down. For example, you could write "Throughout my life I have constantly taught my peers informally. Sharing knowlegde with my peers has given me immense satisfaction, be it in academia or sports."
With reference to the last line of the 2nd paragraph, i don't think theres a need to repeat role model again, and you could possibly just jump straight into the point stating, "I have proven myself trustworthy, dependable.."
One last point would be the concluding paragraph where you stated, "I look forward to hearing from you again". Again may not be appropriate since you have not heard from her before.
These are some suggestions on my part. In all i feel it is a well planned application letter and would invite an interview from the manager of the recruitment unit. =)
Thanks,
aldrich
Hi Wen Jun. I love your enthusiasm and strong interest shown in the opening paragraph. Your second paragraph clearly shows how your passion and character can be used in the context of the education sector as you possessed the qualities of a good role model. This induced in me greater interest to read on the application letter. The reiteration of role model in the last sentence may be a tad of repetition, but it manages to remind me the key point you want to convey for that paragraph. For the third paragraph, you have touched on your leadership qualities and your managerial skills. This coincides with the requirements of the teaching line quite okay. However, if you can show a little more relevance of your skills to show that you are able to manage a classroom of students, it might be better in my point of view.
ReplyDeleteFrom the requirements of the job, there is little emphasis or mention about how you are able to prepare the students for challenges of life in future. It will be great if you can have a slight mention of it with accordance to some of your qualifications or skills. In addition, this is the first letter so ‘I look forward to hearing from you again…’ makes it look as though you copied this phrase from a template. These are just some minor problems I observed.
Overall, the presentation of information is uncluttered and the organization of the information is relatively good. A good job done for your application letter!
Regards,
Ivan
Hallo Wen Jun, in terms of the 7Cs and job requirements, this letter is raring to go! Good job! I especially like paragraph 2 about your passion for teaching ... to your dream of being a role model. Those points show a personal touch in your letter and makes the letter more engaging.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I feel that 'I am writing to introduce myself..' is redundant as that's the purpose of all application letters. It is also cliche, which starts the letter on a slightly 'unoriginal' note.
Not only that, I feel that writing 'Hence, I will be able to start work from mid-December 2009 onwards' should not be put in the opening as it is not very important, it is way-off-topic and it also spoils the flow of the letter as there is a huge jump in topic from it to the next paragraph. Instead you could put it in the closing.
I also think that you could elaborate more for the Class Treasurer and Volleyball Club Quartermaster part. Sure, it proved that you are trustworthy, responsible and dependable. However, I feel that the recruitment manager would also want specific duties that you did in these roles that show those qualities.
All the best for your draft 2! :)